BEYOND THE QUOTE: CONTROL

There's a brutal truth in life that some people refuse to accept -you have no control over many of the things that happen in life.

Some of the people who resist that truth become control freaks. They micromanage, refuse to delegate tasks, and try to force other people to change. They think if they can gain enough control over other people and the situations they find themselves in, they can prevent bad things from happening.

Others know they can't prevent bad things from happening, but they worry about them anyway. They fret about everything from natural disasters to deadly diseases. Their worries keep them occupied, but ultimately, they waste their time and energy because worrying doesn't do any good.

Focusing on what we can’t control often takes our energy and attention away from what we can control. The more time and energy we’re spending on the things we can’t control, the less time and energy we’re spending on the ways in which we can make a difference.

If you waste a lot of time worrying about things you can't control, here are 6 things you can focus on.

1. Determine what you can control.

When you find yourself worrying, take a minute to examine the things you have control over. You can't prevent a storm from coming but you can prepare for it. You can't control how someone else behaves, but you can control how you react.

2. Focus on your influence.

You can influence people and circumstances, but you can't force things to go your way.  To have the most influence, focus on changing your behavior. Be a good role model and set healthy boundaries for yourself.

3. Identify your fears.

Ask yourself what you are afraid will happen. Are you predicting a catastrophic outcome? Do you doubt your ability to cope with disappointment? Usually, the worst case scenario isn't as tragic as you might envision. There's a good chance you're stronger than you think. Acknowledging that you can handle the worst case scenario can help you put your energy into more productive exercises.

4. Differentiate between ruminating and problem-solving.

Replaying conversations in your head or imagining catastrophic outcomes over and over again isn't helpful. But solving a problem is. So ask yourself whether your thinking is productive. If you are actively solving a problem, such as trying to find ways to increase your chances of success, keep working on solutions. If, however, you're wasting your time ruminating, change the channel in your brain. Acknowledge that your thoughts aren't productive and get up and go do something for a few minutes to get your brain focused on something more productive.

5. Your Gratitude.

If you can practice being grateful on a daily basis, your happiness and productivity will increase.  Cultivating gratitude trains us to focus on hope, to remain inspired, and to be optimistic, lending us the courage and resilience to persevere in the face of setbacks (on top of giving us a mood boost that keeps us coasting).

6. Your Mental and Physical Fitness.

You don't have to go to the gym, but we all ought to take 20 minutes out of our days to get up and move. Motion helps free your mind and body to better tap into your creative potential. Walking has literally been found to increase creativity. Getting in some movement will help creativity and also focus.

Giving your brain a workout is as easy as it is important for you to do. Whether you play Sudoku, do crossword puzzles, or read non-fiction books, your brain will feel the difference. You can get a similar benefit from meditation. Just 20 to 30 minutes has been shown to increase focus, reduce stress and anxiety, and even dial down physical pain.

Written by Sope Martins(@sopemartins on twitter)

HUMAN RIGHTS LITIGATION IN NIGERIA: Law, practice and procedure

This book written by Mr. Frank Agbedo, one of Nigeria’s leading authors in human rights literature and jurisprudence, was recently unveiled to the reading public at the Nigerian Institute of International Affairs, (NIIA) Kofo Abayomi Road, Victoria Island, Lagos, just a few years after his ground breaking treatise on the rights of criminal suspects in Nigeria, titled, “Rights of Suspects and Accused Persons under the Nigerian Criminal Law. Incidentally, only three days before the release of the current book, the world had on 10th December, 2016, marked the International day of Human Rights, with a strident message calling upon everyone to stand up for someone’s rights. 

The Nigerian Bar Association (NBA) Lagos Branch, Human Rights Committee, organized a successful summit on Thursday 8th December,, 2016 while the National body commemorated the day with a world press conference held at the High Court of Lagos premises, Igbosere, Lagos. It has been universally declared that “it is essential, if a man is not to be compelled to have recourse as a last resort, to rebellion against tyranny and oppression, that human rights should be protected by the rule of law”. (See the UN Universal Declaration on Human Rights 1948). The value of human right is solely dependent on its enforcement. An unenforced right is of no value to its owner. Just as the maxim, Ubi Jus Ibi Remedium (i.e where there is a right, there is a remedy), remains rhetorical until the remedy is duly enforced in favour of the victim. 

This book, which is consciously and albeit rightly, in my view, dedicated to two of Nigeria’s greatest civil rights advocates, both at the bar and the bench, namely: the late Chief Gani Fawehinmi, SAN and Hon. Justice Idris Legbo Kutigi GCON, CJN Rtd, therefore dwells extensively on the law, practice and procedure relating to enforcement of human rights in Nigerian Courts. Principal features of the book include but are not limited to the ABC of human rights litigation, an in depth analysis of the new FREP Rules 2009, A review of judicial attitude to enforcement of Fundamental Rights Cases, Prosecuting Appeals in Fundamental Rights Cases, The status of public interest litigation in Nigerian Courts, The Role of Amici Curae in human rights litigation, the justiciability or judicialisation of socio-economic rights in Nigerian Courts and the future of human rights litigation.

 The book also features a comprehensive package of practice forms and precedents relating to practical applications for enforcement of fundamental rights, as well as a comprehensive index of cases and relevant statutes. Practice forms and precedents More than seven years since the advent of the Fundamental Rights (Enforcement Procedure) Rules 2009, which had been described as representing the widest latitude to effective enforcement of fundamental rights, the volume of litigation relating to human rights have expectedly witnessed a quantum leap in Nigerian Courts. It is therefore this floodgate of litigations that supplied the raison d’etre and compelling desire for this book. This is done with a view to updating practitioners with current decisions and contemporary developments on human rights law and practice, with copious references to salutary innovations from other jurisdictions overseas. The peculiar strength of this new book, as attested to by renowned jurists and law lords who had the benefit of a preview of the content prior to this public presentation, is that it is almost a ready answer to all issues and matters relating to preparation, initiation, filing and prosecution of fundamental right cases in Nigerian Courts. The book is comprehensive enough to the cover of the field of human right law, practice and procedure and which could be better described as a One-Stop-Shop in human rights litigation. 
According to Femi Falana SAN, “Frank Agbedo Esq has through this book simplified and facilitated the enforcement of fundamental rights in Nigeria in line with the provisions of the Fundamental Rights (Enforcement Procedure) Rules 2009. With the subjects analysed in the book and the relevant cases cited by the author, victims of human rights abuse will have no difficulty in seeking redress in the appropriate High Courts”. One cannot agree any less with the above endorsement coming from a venerable icon of public interest litigation in Nigeria. The book which focuses on the practice and procedure in human right litigation, is to the best of my well considered opinion, a well researched and comprehensive work on the subject. 

It is written in clear readable style that is quite informative. I believe that Legal Practitioners, Judges, Law students and  anyone  interested in human rights litigation and issues, will find it very useful. I warmly recommend it. 
By Malachy Ugwumadu

Buhari seeks Senate’s confirmation of Erediauwa as NDIC ED


 ABUJA—PRESIDENT Muhammadu Buhari, yesterday, forwarded to the Senate the name of Aghatise Erediauwa to be screened and confirmed for re-appointment as Executive Director, Nigerian Deposit Insurance Corporation, NDIC. In a letter read on the floor of the Senate, yesterday, by Deputy Senate President, Ike Ekweremadu, who presided over the session, President Buhari said the request was in accordance with Sections 5(4) and 8(3) of the NDIC Act. The letter, dated January 17, 2017, said: “In accordance with the provisions of Sections 5(4) and 8(3) of the Nigerian Deposit Insurance Corporation Act, I hereby forward the name of Mr. Erediauwa for the kind consideration and confirmation by the Senate for reappointment as Executive Director of NDIC. “It is my hope that this will receive the usual expeditious consideration of the distinguished Senate.”

EIGHT RESILIENT WAYS NIGERIANS SHOUD APPROACH LIFE

Life is not a bed of roses hence it is important that we have the ability to come back stronger or to keep pushing after an unlikely event. Our resilience has a way of influencing to a great length how much we would measure in life. Sometimes all we need is to persevere and be resilient. Here are 8 resilient ways every Nigerian should approach life. 1. Past history is a wisdom teacher: Resilient individuals see their past as the most valuable teacher. Past mistakes allow them to learn what not to repeat in their future. Once they have the lesson they do not harbour it and continue to carry any pain or embarrassment. They take inventory of what they have learned and make the necessary changes which need to be made. They know that in holding on to the past, it only keeps them in the place they were stuck. Mistakes are perfect opportunities to learn something valuable which wasn’t understood before. The past doesn’t define them, it trains them. 2. Take responsibility: Resilient individuals see their lives as being largely under their own control. Luck has very little to do with success or failure. Luck is something the resilient create through persistence, a positive attitude, acting with kindness, and networking for more opportunities. Luck is the gift of never giving up. 3. Prioritize well: Resilience, like any virtue, does not come in an unlimited supply. Not every detail of life is always going to be under their influence, therefore, they let go of what they cannot control by prioritizing the aspects of their life they can push, nurture, promote, fix and maximize. 4. Happy for others: The resilient do not entertain thoughts of lack. They hold a belief that there is enough success, love, beauty or happiness to go around, so when someone else takes the stage they do not have feelings of being diminished in any way. Rather, they feel excited and inspired watching others succeed. Any time you wish for the failure of another, you attract failure to yourself. For that reason the resilient support the success of others wholeheartedly. 5. Speak a language of happiness: The resilient make very little time for “poor me,” complaining, whining or martyring about how things are so bad in their lives. Words have power. Language is life. They believe that what they speak about is what they will live. Complaining has never proven to make people feel better or to become more successful, fulfilled or happy. If there is a failure the resilient find every way they can to turn their failure into a success by focusing on solutions not problems. 6. Competitive with themselves: The resilient are not out to compete with others, what others have, their job titles, salaries or accomplishments. There is no need to one-up another person. The resilient are goal-oriented and only compete with themselves and the goals they set. Each goal achieved is a competition won. They do not waste time in these traps of comparison as it only serves to weaken their spirits and their state of mind. The resilient are inspired from within, not without and therefore they only measure themselves against their own inner desires, goals and timelines. 7. Visionaries: Resilient individuals never settle for less in love, life or career. They vision their short term and long term goals and make it a point to revisit them to measure their progress. The process of reviewing their goals and desires reminds them ofwhy they are doing what they are doing and working so hard to do it. They find the meaning in their suffering in reflecting upon their goals. 8. Grateful: The resilient take nothing for granted. They know that being intelligent, motivated, healthy, successful, loving and kind is not a right, it is a privilege. These individuals take time each day to count their blessings. It is easy to get side tracked on what they don’t have or how far away they are from reaching a goal, but the resilient do not allow themselves to get emotionally down for too long into any type of negativity. They have trained themselves to focus on what they have, the abundance of love in their lives, and on how far they have come and all they have gained. It is this type of thinking which keeps them inspired, loving, successful and going forward in life.

WHY SOME MEN DON'T ENJOY SEX

The reason why some men do not want to have sex is that they no longer enjoy sex. And they no longer enjoy sex because they do not have erection any longer. Although it is not everyone who agrees with this n are salient issues being raised by the medical expert on why this is so with men. Esther Odili spoke with Dr Taiwo Fadeyi, a sex therapist, who shared the reasons many men do no enjoy having intercourse with their spouses. 1. Hormonal imbalances: The most important stimulant of sexual desire is testosterone. Many men are mistakenly sent to have a blood test for total testosterone when low libido is the issue. Men who do not enjoy sex at all already have a problem of testosterone, a hormone that is responsible for erection. Moreover, these type of men in their youths does not have anything to do with sex and they are referred to as the Eunuchs.However, they are not the same as homosexuals. Homosexuals enjoy sex with the same sex. It is not that they do not have sex. 2. Turn off from sex: Some men get bored with sex that is not fulfilling to them and they turn off from sexual activity. This can be related to specific things that his partner does during sexual intercourse. This type of men feel criticized or may have sexual interest that he knows or fears his partner may not share. 3. Disagreement with spouse: This has to do with some women. A woman could become a nag. When a man has a nagging wife who becomes a terror at home, the husband would rather not have sex with her. If he has to beg her for sex or the woman uses sex as a weapon to punish him, then his interest will be lost completely.According to Dr Fadeyi, we have to differentiate men who do not want to have sex with their wives and those who do not enjoy sex.Those who do not want to have sex with their wives have extra-marital affairs. These type of men do not have erectile dysfunction. The wives have pushed them out of the home. It is either the couple is sexually incompatible or the wife is becoming difficult. 4. Stress: Another reason is that they lose interest when they undergo a lot a stress. Stress comes in many forms; it could be financial stress, emotional stress, stress at work, bad economy, no money to pay children fees. These type o Dr Fadeyi, are called stress induced. Unlike women who can fake an erection, it is either you have an erection or you do not have an erection, he says.5. Masturbation. Some men self stimulate in a particular way and train themselves to trigger ejaculation and orgasm in that way only. For some women, this issue is a blessing to them while for others it is a frustrating and disappointing outcome. It is advisable that a partner knows her man’s erotic idiosyncrasies’ as some men take their sexual desires into their own hands by masturbating to porn videos, movies and so on.6. Erectile dysfunctionMany men who have an erectile dysfunction that leads to loss of libido or total impotent avoid having sex with their partner because they have difficulties functioning sexually.7. The woman is no longer attractiveWhen you are attracted to someone, your whole body switches on. Attraction is a symphony in which different instruments- the voice, charisma, and body language play a part it is like you get in the mood for love. A woman who was pretty when you marry her and suddenly by the time she starts giving birth, she became fat, obese then the husband can no longer take her out. A woman can have sex without enjoying it. If a man does not like the partner, he will not have an erection. In addition, if the wife suddenly becomes dirty, having body odour, sweat, the man will lost interest.8. Health issuesHealth issues like heart problems, hypertension, heart attack, kidney problem might reduce the urge for sex, says Dr Fadeyi.9. DrugsAnti-depressant drugs, pain relievers, anti-anxiety drugs and others can also lead to quick ejaculation and orgasm10. ImpairmentHowever, when a man pays too much attention to his partners’ experience, he loses erotic focus, which can interfere with ejaculation and orgasm. If the problem is erectile dysfunction, you will need to see a urologist. But if it is because the relationship has gone sour, they you go and see a marriage counselor.Meanwhile a woman will have different reasons that have tampered with her sex life. T a visit to a doctor first, is the best option. When she meets with the doctor, she will tell why she is not enjoying sex, so the doctor will be able to follow up from there.But basically, everybody must see a doctor, Dr Fadeyi advises

DREAMED OR DREAMT?

Some people say to use 'dreamed' in American English and 'dreamt' in British English, but it's not that simple.
Here's how these two words are really used.
A few years ago, a man named D. Chap wrote in and said, “I was thinking about the words dreamed and dreamt. I've heard it used both ways and I've seen it written both ways, but it doesn't make a lot of sense to me about what the proper usage would be if there is one. You don't say creamt when you're trying to say
creamed, or the same thing with
gleamed and gleamt ; you never hear those. So I was wondering what the proper usage was for dreamed versus dreamt.”
The reason he is confused is that dreamed and dreamt are both allowable past tense forms of the verb 'dream' .
Dreamt is often described as the British version of the word (1, 2, 3), however, a Google Books Ngram search shows that dreamed is more common than dreamt in both British and American English. Still, dreamt is on more equal footing in Britain than in America:
People use dreamed about 2.5 times more often than dreamt in British English, but about 7 times more often than dreamt in American English.
British English search for dreamed and
dreamt.
American English search for dreamed and dreamt.
You can use whichever word you prefer, but dreamed will probably be less distracting to your readers.

References
1. Brians, P. Common Errors in English Usage. Wilsonville: William, James & Co., 2003, p. 68.
2. Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of English Usage . Springfield: Merriam-Webster, 1994, p. 371.
3. Garner, B. Garner's Modern American Usage. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2003, p. 274.

Culled from Grammar girl

RE: IT IS AN ACT OF GOD

I am absolutely flummoxed, the fact that our public office holders still find it almost impossible to make uncontroversial, responsible statements. It has been alleged that you ma, the Honorable Minister of Aviation, said that the recent air accident was "an act of God". The only thing I decipher from that statement is that you acknowledged that there is a God, don't drag Him into your inefficiencies. He can be very patient yet a consuming fire. In as much as God is all sovereign and no one can question His ways, we should not ascribe unbecoming phrases to HIM. Only in this country will this height of impunity, insensitivity and irresponsible be made to pass. The repeated and continuous (because I'm not sure these mishaps are over) air crashes and huge waste of human lives should NEVER be related to God as He is not an author of confusion. He frowns at waste and trying to circumvent discovering the root cause of the issue at hand by laying the blame on God as adopted by you and your colleagues for every systemic day to day cascading failures in all sectors is nothing but irresponsibility. These days, the safest medium of transportation has become death traps. Since the severity is very fatal and the probability of this happening is close to one, you can guess the risk Nigerians are taking to fly. Children have orphaned, breadwinners from their families, loved ones separated eternally due to the "act of God". With the seven crashes in the last two years, God has really been showing the acts clearly I presume then. What do we then call natural disasters? A respected activist said, "if God is in charge of safety in the aviation sector, we are then duplicating role by paying people salaries for the same. Whom do we sack? The first name on unrepentant and incompetent people's mouth when they fail to perform their responsibility is God". I will not join the bandwagon asking for your resignation, even though that is the only honorable thing to start solving this mess with. In saner climes, MPs, PMs, Ministers have tendered their resignation with unreserved apologies to the country for lot less. I will not join those who pass the buck to your desk even if by your position you boss the aviation industry. All most Nigerians ask is that you and by extension your colleagues enroll for courses in Communication Management to assist in reaching out to us. Thanks.