EIGHT RESILIENT WAYS NIGERIANS SHOUD APPROACH LIFE

Life is not a bed of roses hence it is important that we have the ability to come back stronger or to keep pushing after an unlikely event. Our resilience has a way of influencing to a great length how much we would measure in life. Sometimes all we need is to persevere and be resilient. Here are 8 resilient ways every Nigerian should approach life. 1. Past history is a wisdom teacher: Resilient individuals see their past as the most valuable teacher. Past mistakes allow them to learn what not to repeat in their future. Once they have the lesson they do not harbour it and continue to carry any pain or embarrassment. They take inventory of what they have learned and make the necessary changes which need to be made. They know that in holding on to the past, it only keeps them in the place they were stuck. Mistakes are perfect opportunities to learn something valuable which wasn’t understood before. The past doesn’t define them, it trains them. 2. Take responsibility: Resilient individuals see their lives as being largely under their own control. Luck has very little to do with success or failure. Luck is something the resilient create through persistence, a positive attitude, acting with kindness, and networking for more opportunities. Luck is the gift of never giving up. 3. Prioritize well: Resilience, like any virtue, does not come in an unlimited supply. Not every detail of life is always going to be under their influence, therefore, they let go of what they cannot control by prioritizing the aspects of their life they can push, nurture, promote, fix and maximize. 4. Happy for others: The resilient do not entertain thoughts of lack. They hold a belief that there is enough success, love, beauty or happiness to go around, so when someone else takes the stage they do not have feelings of being diminished in any way. Rather, they feel excited and inspired watching others succeed. Any time you wish for the failure of another, you attract failure to yourself. For that reason the resilient support the success of others wholeheartedly. 5. Speak a language of happiness: The resilient make very little time for “poor me,” complaining, whining or martyring about how things are so bad in their lives. Words have power. Language is life. They believe that what they speak about is what they will live. Complaining has never proven to make people feel better or to become more successful, fulfilled or happy. If there is a failure the resilient find every way they can to turn their failure into a success by focusing on solutions not problems. 6. Competitive with themselves: The resilient are not out to compete with others, what others have, their job titles, salaries or accomplishments. There is no need to one-up another person. The resilient are goal-oriented and only compete with themselves and the goals they set. Each goal achieved is a competition won. They do not waste time in these traps of comparison as it only serves to weaken their spirits and their state of mind. The resilient are inspired from within, not without and therefore they only measure themselves against their own inner desires, goals and timelines. 7. Visionaries: Resilient individuals never settle for less in love, life or career. They vision their short term and long term goals and make it a point to revisit them to measure their progress. The process of reviewing their goals and desires reminds them ofwhy they are doing what they are doing and working so hard to do it. They find the meaning in their suffering in reflecting upon their goals. 8. Grateful: The resilient take nothing for granted. They know that being intelligent, motivated, healthy, successful, loving and kind is not a right, it is a privilege. These individuals take time each day to count their blessings. It is easy to get side tracked on what they don’t have or how far away they are from reaching a goal, but the resilient do not allow themselves to get emotionally down for too long into any type of negativity. They have trained themselves to focus on what they have, the abundance of love in their lives, and on how far they have come and all they have gained. It is this type of thinking which keeps them inspired, loving, successful and going forward in life.

WHY SOME MEN DON'T ENJOY SEX

The reason why some men do not want to have sex is that they no longer enjoy sex. And they no longer enjoy sex because they do not have erection any longer. Although it is not everyone who agrees with this n are salient issues being raised by the medical expert on why this is so with men. Esther Odili spoke with Dr Taiwo Fadeyi, a sex therapist, who shared the reasons many men do no enjoy having intercourse with their spouses. 1. Hormonal imbalances: The most important stimulant of sexual desire is testosterone. Many men are mistakenly sent to have a blood test for total testosterone when low libido is the issue. Men who do not enjoy sex at all already have a problem of testosterone, a hormone that is responsible for erection. Moreover, these type of men in their youths does not have anything to do with sex and they are referred to as the Eunuchs.However, they are not the same as homosexuals. Homosexuals enjoy sex with the same sex. It is not that they do not have sex. 2. Turn off from sex: Some men get bored with sex that is not fulfilling to them and they turn off from sexual activity. This can be related to specific things that his partner does during sexual intercourse. This type of men feel criticized or may have sexual interest that he knows or fears his partner may not share. 3. Disagreement with spouse: This has to do with some women. A woman could become a nag. When a man has a nagging wife who becomes a terror at home, the husband would rather not have sex with her. If he has to beg her for sex or the woman uses sex as a weapon to punish him, then his interest will be lost completely.According to Dr Fadeyi, we have to differentiate men who do not want to have sex with their wives and those who do not enjoy sex.Those who do not want to have sex with their wives have extra-marital affairs. These type of men do not have erectile dysfunction. The wives have pushed them out of the home. It is either the couple is sexually incompatible or the wife is becoming difficult. 4. Stress: Another reason is that they lose interest when they undergo a lot a stress. Stress comes in many forms; it could be financial stress, emotional stress, stress at work, bad economy, no money to pay children fees. These type o Dr Fadeyi, are called stress induced. Unlike women who can fake an erection, it is either you have an erection or you do not have an erection, he says.5. Masturbation. Some men self stimulate in a particular way and train themselves to trigger ejaculation and orgasm in that way only. For some women, this issue is a blessing to them while for others it is a frustrating and disappointing outcome. It is advisable that a partner knows her man’s erotic idiosyncrasies’ as some men take their sexual desires into their own hands by masturbating to porn videos, movies and so on.6. Erectile dysfunctionMany men who have an erectile dysfunction that leads to loss of libido or total impotent avoid having sex with their partner because they have difficulties functioning sexually.7. The woman is no longer attractiveWhen you are attracted to someone, your whole body switches on. Attraction is a symphony in which different instruments- the voice, charisma, and body language play a part it is like you get in the mood for love. A woman who was pretty when you marry her and suddenly by the time she starts giving birth, she became fat, obese then the husband can no longer take her out. A woman can have sex without enjoying it. If a man does not like the partner, he will not have an erection. In addition, if the wife suddenly becomes dirty, having body odour, sweat, the man will lost interest.8. Health issuesHealth issues like heart problems, hypertension, heart attack, kidney problem might reduce the urge for sex, says Dr Fadeyi.9. DrugsAnti-depressant drugs, pain relievers, anti-anxiety drugs and others can also lead to quick ejaculation and orgasm10. ImpairmentHowever, when a man pays too much attention to his partners’ experience, he loses erotic focus, which can interfere with ejaculation and orgasm. If the problem is erectile dysfunction, you will need to see a urologist. But if it is because the relationship has gone sour, they you go and see a marriage counselor.Meanwhile a woman will have different reasons that have tampered with her sex life. T a visit to a doctor first, is the best option. When she meets with the doctor, she will tell why she is not enjoying sex, so the doctor will be able to follow up from there.But basically, everybody must see a doctor, Dr Fadeyi advises