BEYOND THE QUOTE: CONTROL

There's a brutal truth in life that some people refuse to accept -you have no control over many of the things that happen in life.

Some of the people who resist that truth become control freaks. They micromanage, refuse to delegate tasks, and try to force other people to change. They think if they can gain enough control over other people and the situations they find themselves in, they can prevent bad things from happening.

Others know they can't prevent bad things from happening, but they worry about them anyway. They fret about everything from natural disasters to deadly diseases. Their worries keep them occupied, but ultimately, they waste their time and energy because worrying doesn't do any good.

Focusing on what we can’t control often takes our energy and attention away from what we can control. The more time and energy we’re spending on the things we can’t control, the less time and energy we’re spending on the ways in which we can make a difference.

If you waste a lot of time worrying about things you can't control, here are 6 things you can focus on.

1. Determine what you can control.

When you find yourself worrying, take a minute to examine the things you have control over. You can't prevent a storm from coming but you can prepare for it. You can't control how someone else behaves, but you can control how you react.

2. Focus on your influence.

You can influence people and circumstances, but you can't force things to go your way.  To have the most influence, focus on changing your behavior. Be a good role model and set healthy boundaries for yourself.

3. Identify your fears.

Ask yourself what you are afraid will happen. Are you predicting a catastrophic outcome? Do you doubt your ability to cope with disappointment? Usually, the worst case scenario isn't as tragic as you might envision. There's a good chance you're stronger than you think. Acknowledging that you can handle the worst case scenario can help you put your energy into more productive exercises.

4. Differentiate between ruminating and problem-solving.

Replaying conversations in your head or imagining catastrophic outcomes over and over again isn't helpful. But solving a problem is. So ask yourself whether your thinking is productive. If you are actively solving a problem, such as trying to find ways to increase your chances of success, keep working on solutions. If, however, you're wasting your time ruminating, change the channel in your brain. Acknowledge that your thoughts aren't productive and get up and go do something for a few minutes to get your brain focused on something more productive.

5. Your Gratitude.

If you can practice being grateful on a daily basis, your happiness and productivity will increase.  Cultivating gratitude trains us to focus on hope, to remain inspired, and to be optimistic, lending us the courage and resilience to persevere in the face of setbacks (on top of giving us a mood boost that keeps us coasting).

6. Your Mental and Physical Fitness.

You don't have to go to the gym, but we all ought to take 20 minutes out of our days to get up and move. Motion helps free your mind and body to better tap into your creative potential. Walking has literally been found to increase creativity. Getting in some movement will help creativity and also focus.

Giving your brain a workout is as easy as it is important for you to do. Whether you play Sudoku, do crossword puzzles, or read non-fiction books, your brain will feel the difference. You can get a similar benefit from meditation. Just 20 to 30 minutes has been shown to increase focus, reduce stress and anxiety, and even dial down physical pain.

Written by Sope Martins(@sopemartins on twitter)